Hm.

Looking back at what I've said... It seems pretty clear to me now why I am the way I am. Or was, anyway. Back at that ceremony... I didn't want to intrude on other people in their moments of glory. At least, that's what I said to myself. I saw them all having a good time, but I knew that I hadn't tried enough over the year to really get to know them, so I made that excuse for consciously not getting into any of those pictures. In reality, though, it was that excuse that prevented me from trying to associate with them in the first place. I never really tried taking the first step because I figured I'd be intruding the first time I met them, which I continued saying to myself until the day they left. That's why... who I am hates who I've been.

I know it may sometimes seem like I know a lot of people, or at least, can talk to or associate with a lot of people, and that is true on a basic level. When it comes to really close friendships though, or rather, those I've kept up with on a consistent basis, on the other hand, I haven't really kept up much on my end of things... I don't know what it is with me and approach-avoidance complexes. Heck, I still get paranoid over whether or not I should talk to someone on AIM just because we haven't talked that much before. Meh.

Well anyway... I'm glad this year is starting to look better. All of you guys out there, even though you probably aren't reading this anyway... it means a lot.

I don't know why I'm saying this now of all times, but as it's past 1 AM, I'm more susceptible to randomly blurting out stuff that's on my mind in these things.