ugh.

Every time I watch another episode of Breaking Bad, I just want to smack Walter White in the face. and rip my hair out. and throw my computer against the wall.

It's not just the fact that he's becoming more morally bankrupt each episode. It's that it's his pride fueling it each step of the way. Pride so ugly... and human, it's disgusting.

I feel like I'm watching this show just to see this guy get what's coming to him. Much like I still read Naruto because I want to see Sasuke dead already (although even if he did die, it'd probably turn into some self-glorified death considering how it's been so far). Only Breaking Bad comes bundled with the depressing aftereffects of Walt's stupidity on every character in the show.

Great show, but just really aggravating to watch sometimes.

*puts away old plate on dishrack*
*eats dinner on new plate*
*washes plate and puts on dishrack*
*sits on couch for a minute*
*spends 5 minutes looking for dinner plate because he doesn't remember washing it and thinks the plate on the dishrack was the old one*

I think I'm going senile.

Dream Post #40

1. IV is putting on a classical music concert at some fancy theater, during which For Christ's Sake a capella is center-stage performing a solemn yet annoyingly repetitive and catchy requiem, and I am sitting in the audience next to a clearly disgruntled male Korean atheist (I have no idea why it is that specific, but it is). I can't help but notice the anger emanating from the guy's face, and it bothers me so much that I'm caught off-guard when the spotlight suddenly falls on me, as it is my turn to narrate the next sequence of the God story. I can't remember my lines even though the script is sitting right in front of me, and no matter what I try to read from the script, it all comes out from my mouth as gibberish. I am lost, and I do not understand what I am trying to say. and then I wake up.

2. The Internet dies, which somehow triggers an I am Legend-ish sort of phenomenon where I am now the last human on earth in the midst of a post-apocalyptic landscape. After a month of wandering past dead computer and tv screens, one suddenly turns on, revealing that the source of the Internet's death was a bomb that exploded in a Costco in New York City, and that I am still able to get signal because Costco is still alive in Los Angeles. Just then that Costco explodes from another bomb, and the signal dies. and I wake up.

IM

For a while now I've had this tendency to feel self-conscious about instant messaging. Every time a friend's nearby with a laptop or computer screen on, I can't help but notice how many gchat (or aim back in the day, or webex in the case of work) conversations they usually have ongoing at one time. I mean, I've had moments where I've had several chats going on at once myself, but it's only once in a while. And it makes me wonder why I'm not talking to people as much as the person in front of me.

Some people have asked me in the past why I hardly talk to them [online], generally people who I talked to more often than most to begin with. I dunno. Is it a symptom of something?

Back in the day [read: middle school] when I started using MSN and later AIM, I always had this weird complex about never wanting to IM people because I didn't want to bother them or something like that. In retrospect it shouldn't have been that big a deal, especially considering the kind of things middle schoolers would've talked about anyway... but I don't know how well I got over that. I don't think of it as much, but I still feel irked whenever people don't really respond, even though I do that a lot myself now anyways. It also bothers me when attempts at conversations just end after a few lines. (I'm probably reading too much into it.)

I guess in general, I don't feel like initiating conversations most of the time unless I actually have something to say. Which sucks when I want to talk to someone but don't really have anything to say, so I either end up not initiating or just sitting there if the person happens to be there.

I apologize if you've had to experience the awkwardness of me just sitting there. According to a friend it's cause I like to soak in the presence of other people. "Like a sponge."