Child (male? female?) born to nazi parents who commit suicide shortly after. I take the POV of this person and procede alone into the start of the sequence - like a line to an attraction at a theme park, except the attraction is sorted into different stages. Note to self after having experienced this dream, pay attention to what happens to my backpack and two jackets. (I don't actually remember where they were at most points during this...)
First stage: I transform into Cloud Strife tactically attacking enemies from afar in a setting that resembles a turn based strategy game.
[in a hotel room, foreshadowing.]
Next line: I am pushed along, into the sewers, slums of some district chasing after something (magic? a pixie?) I can't catch. Motorcycles?
Next stage: Moving forward, I'm in an outdoor mall. I'm carrying a bomb into the target location. activate it. walk slowly away (feels like a combination of the opening sequence to the movie Touch of Evil and the sequence where Joker walks away from the hospital in The Dark Knight). Nearing exit, hear the explosion, feel the heat from behind - turn, see fire erupting from inside, smoke spreading and engulfing everyone flowing towards my direction, arm feels the burn from the heat, people around trying to run. I run. (This part actually happened twice - there were two bombs - but I don't remember the sequence between the planting of both bombs)
As I run forward, thousands of people compressed into streams flow past me towards the site of the explosion. However there are too many(50+ streams at once) and the streams crash into each other like trains. People get run over by people-trains, blood splattering on the ground, massive chaos all around.
I run as fast as I can past them, finally trapped in a crowd with people I know from high school + Johny?? in a corner. It almost feels like I'm stuck in a massive line/crowd at Disneyland. Oh wait, this is Disneyland. and this is a line waiting to exit, since the mall just got bombed and a ton of people just died. I can see the Sleeping Beauty castle plus another huge crowd of trapped people just over the wall next to me. Johny seems amused at the equally trapped people. Discussion with high school friends over how life's going. I thought you were supposed to be in Europe. [oh, I'm on vacation right now]
Oh look, there's a part of the crowd branching off into this field that reminds me of the field where we were waiting in line at general commencement. We're getting permission to leave from these black suited guards, one by one. High school friend realizes something, tries to explain but can't in front of guards and has to run around the corner behind a wall, others follow. I try to but am pulled back by guard, pushed away into the line exiting the campus.
Line moves toward the end, I wonder what happened to the others. They zoom by me at that moment, having transformed into fish or sea monkeys. I don't remember which. Alternate ending for this dream starts here, in which I also transform into a sea monkey and become enraptured by a giant shroom.
No wait. My conscious self isn't satisfied by this ending, so I forcefully rewind time in the dream (like rewinding a tape) and come back to the point before fish friends fly by.
Line moves forward, I see a huge line progressing in the opposite direction back into the park. I wonder why you would try to go back into the park when there is so much chaos there right now, at the site where the bomb went off/streams of people collided. I get pushed out. At this point I realize I left my two jackets back somewhere in the line when I was still with high school friends. I took them off because it was getting too hot. Oh well.
As I exit, I realize backpack was left behind, I go back to the entrance and one of the guards hands it back to me. I ask him how he knew it was my backpack (it was actually dad's billabong backpack). He saw me drop it apparently.
I look back at the entrance line, which goes through a shack at some point. In front of the shack is a distressed woman, face with burns, apparently tortured while working as a servant for the family running the park. She gets pulled back into the shack by security, screaming.
I exit the park via the exit line... and then wake up? I don't remember what else there was after that. I feel like the hotel room from early on came back again. The culprit was there. Watching the news covering what happened today.
After I wake up I close my eyes and rewind time back through the dream, to the beginning. I am still bothered by the gruesomeness of the deaths back during the people-stream-train sequence.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Monkey Island
In the middle of playing Monkey Island 2 (great game btw). I'm trying to direct our captain to move the ship to an unknown part of the ocean to find a sunken ship, but he keeps giving me all of these stupid excuses.
"We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Triangle.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Square.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Pentagon.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Circle.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Hexagon.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Parallelogram.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Octagon.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Trapezoid.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Rhombus.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Dihedron.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Ellipse.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Dodecagon.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Ovoid.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Icosahedron.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Cardioid.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Torus.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Lemniscate.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Parallelipiped.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Frustum.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Helix.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Oblate Spheroid.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Convex Region.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Elliptic Hyperboloid.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Right Circular Conic Cross-Section.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Eccentric Cylindrical Projection."
Maybe I'm doing something wrong here. -_-
"We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Triangle.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Square.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Pentagon.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Circle.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Hexagon.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Parallelogram.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Octagon.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Trapezoid.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Rhombus.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Dihedron.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Ellipse.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Dodecagon.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Ovoid.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Icosahedron.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Cardioid.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Torus.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Lemniscate.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Parallelipiped.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Frustum.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Helix.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Oblate Spheroid.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Convex Region.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Elliptic Hyperboloid.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Right Circular Conic Cross-Section.
We can't go there mon, that's the Forbidden Eccentric Cylindrical Projection."
Maybe I'm doing something wrong here. -_-
Some scattered thoughts.
- Most of my hometown friends are still going to school. As in, not finished with undergrad yet, with a few exceptions (most of which are still looking at grad/post-grad schools). Especially now that Berkeley's starting up again, I feel really weird about not going back to school. Although granted, if I did go back this semester, I'd probably just take the new Machine Learning class/Databases/Probability/another semester of Japanese.
...Oh wait, that's a full semester there. -_-
But to be honest I'm kinda glad I'm done with school, or at least for now. I feel ready to move on with life.
- Thinking about building my own desktop at some point, probably once I'm settled in up north. I'm afraid the entire process of picking out individual parts might end up in the same way as my previous schedule planning/pokemon team planning obsessions, though...
The worst part of having this kind of obsession is when you spend more than 6 hours deliberating over whether or not to make one change to your current plan, only to decide not to change it anyway... only then to come back to that change repeatedly over the course of the next month because you started to regret your original decision. This is pretty much the story of every schedule and pokemon team I have made in college.
- Speaking of computers, Lappy2 (my laptop)'s been a bit sluggish and warm lately. I called Dell up the other day to replace the palm-pad- the part of the laptop where my hands rest- for an unrelated reason and in the process got sent a new fan, heat sink, and motherboard for free. And a technician to install everything. Having an active warranty is great.
- After messing around with Google Reader for a day a few weeks ago, I now have a new incoming article in my reader feed about every five minutes, although sometimes they come in droves.
Yeah, I know it's overkill to the point that I'm suffocating myself with information. I've been trying to cut back since. But it's incredibly easy to fall into that trap of consuming feed content for hours.
- Indonesia trip... was not a good experience this year, although the food was delicious as usual, up until we all got sick. I wound up going to the ER a week later due to complications from the trip's sickness combining with the cold I caught right when I got back, but luckily that only lasted a few hours. Moral of the story: drink lots of fluids (though not water alone cause it's easy to throw back up again) and eat lots of bananas.
And if you think you're about to pass out, lie down so that you don't accidentally hit your head on anything as would likely happen if you passed out while standing or sitting up.
- I was originally going to make a post about the Florida trip during winter break... and then Disneyland during the summer, but I never really got around to that and now my memory's kinda foggy. Maybe something about Disney World later since most people I know haven't been there before. Reminder to self to get back to this later.
- In the middle of reading Simple Spirituality, a book I bought at Fall Con last year. The points the author hits on resonate pretty well with the issues I struggled with this past year- namely community (see May 7th post) and humility, although simplicity and submission have been pretty relevant chapters also. I kinda wish there was more discussion on these topics beyond what the book gives (it's a pretty short read), but it's nice to start by at least focusing the discussion around these topics.
One thing in particular that the book brought up while reading today is how easy it is to turn the idea of self-sufficiency into an idol. I find this especially true since I hate having to depend on people, even though I actually do depend on others a lot. Likewise, I don't like being depended on all that much... or at least to the point that it winds up being my fault for not being reliable when I'm apparently needed. I guess I hold a lot of stock in the ideal of being a self-sufficient person.
It's not that being self sufficient is a bad thing. It's just that... it's good to know when to admit that you need help. And a lot of the time I'm too stubborn to admit that much. Particularly in the way I've been talking to God lately... I've hardly admitted any real need for him. In which moments I wonder why I bother praying if I'm not willing to admit that I need him in the first place.
...Oh wait, that's a full semester there. -_-
But to be honest I'm kinda glad I'm done with school, or at least for now. I feel ready to move on with life.
- Thinking about building my own desktop at some point, probably once I'm settled in up north. I'm afraid the entire process of picking out individual parts might end up in the same way as my previous schedule planning/pokemon team planning obsessions, though...
The worst part of having this kind of obsession is when you spend more than 6 hours deliberating over whether or not to make one change to your current plan, only to decide not to change it anyway... only then to come back to that change repeatedly over the course of the next month because you started to regret your original decision. This is pretty much the story of every schedule and pokemon team I have made in college.
- Speaking of computers, Lappy2 (my laptop)'s been a bit sluggish and warm lately. I called Dell up the other day to replace the palm-pad- the part of the laptop where my hands rest- for an unrelated reason and in the process got sent a new fan, heat sink, and motherboard for free. And a technician to install everything. Having an active warranty is great.
- After messing around with Google Reader for a day a few weeks ago, I now have a new incoming article in my reader feed about every five minutes, although sometimes they come in droves.
Yeah, I know it's overkill to the point that I'm suffocating myself with information. I've been trying to cut back since. But it's incredibly easy to fall into that trap of consuming feed content for hours.
- Indonesia trip... was not a good experience this year, although the food was delicious as usual, up until we all got sick. I wound up going to the ER a week later due to complications from the trip's sickness combining with the cold I caught right when I got back, but luckily that only lasted a few hours. Moral of the story: drink lots of fluids (though not water alone cause it's easy to throw back up again) and eat lots of bananas.
And if you think you're about to pass out, lie down so that you don't accidentally hit your head on anything as would likely happen if you passed out while standing or sitting up.
- I was originally going to make a post about the Florida trip during winter break... and then Disneyland during the summer, but I never really got around to that and now my memory's kinda foggy. Maybe something about Disney World later since most people I know haven't been there before. Reminder to self to get back to this later.
- In the middle of reading Simple Spirituality, a book I bought at Fall Con last year. The points the author hits on resonate pretty well with the issues I struggled with this past year- namely community (see May 7th post) and humility, although simplicity and submission have been pretty relevant chapters also. I kinda wish there was more discussion on these topics beyond what the book gives (it's a pretty short read), but it's nice to start by at least focusing the discussion around these topics.
One thing in particular that the book brought up while reading today is how easy it is to turn the idea of self-sufficiency into an idol. I find this especially true since I hate having to depend on people, even though I actually do depend on others a lot. Likewise, I don't like being depended on all that much... or at least to the point that it winds up being my fault for not being reliable when I'm apparently needed. I guess I hold a lot of stock in the ideal of being a self-sufficient person.
It's not that being self sufficient is a bad thing. It's just that... it's good to know when to admit that you need help. And a lot of the time I'm too stubborn to admit that much. Particularly in the way I've been talking to God lately... I've hardly admitted any real need for him. In which moments I wonder why I bother praying if I'm not willing to admit that I need him in the first place.
Monday, August 8, 2011
-
At some point during this summer I realized that I miss people, but I don't know what to say to a lot of them anymore.
It feels debilitating sometimes.
It feels debilitating sometimes.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Dream Post #37
Figured these were happening often enough that I may as well start numbering them. Some of the posts tagged under "Dreams" aren't actually dream posts persay, but they all reference a dream I've had at some point.
I had three dreams last night (and woke up three times... I haven't slept through a night without waking up in the middle since pre-Indonesia), but can only remember two.
1. I am taking a test in which I have to describe in in-class essay format the difference between Java and C++... using the analogy of the difference between filling and emptying a pool of water. Yes, that was part of the question.
It took me so long to think of an answer to this that I ran out of time, as typically happens for me with in-class essays, and I woke up in a panic. And then I laid in bed seriously thinking about the question for while before deciding that whoever came up with the idea of trying to compare Java and C++ using a pool of water as an analogy was an idiot. (My mind was probably still in half-asleep delirious mode- refer to previous post where I was awake and panicked about having 40,000 shopping carts) And then I went back to sleep.
2. I am escorting the Joker from Batman down several flights of stairs in Arkham Asylum to his prison cell. This is pretty much a recreation of the opening to the video game Batman: Arkham Asylum, except that
- I am myself and not Batman
- I am unarmed
- there are no police officers with me escorting the Joker
- the Joker himself isn't even handcuffed, which makes me wonder why he's even bothering with this charade in the first place.
- he's playing with a spoon in his hands as he is walking, and I spend most of the walk downstairs paranoid that he might stab me in the eye with it since I am defenseless.
- but somehow we manage to have a pretty cordial conversation anyway. no hard feelings.
Luckily, once we make it to the bottom floor the Joker gets ambushed by a crowd of teenage girls asking for his autograph. and I wake up.
I had three dreams last night (and woke up three times... I haven't slept through a night without waking up in the middle since pre-Indonesia), but can only remember two.
1. I am taking a test in which I have to describe in in-class essay format the difference between Java and C++... using the analogy of the difference between filling and emptying a pool of water. Yes, that was part of the question.
It took me so long to think of an answer to this that I ran out of time, as typically happens for me with in-class essays, and I woke up in a panic. And then I laid in bed seriously thinking about the question for while before deciding that whoever came up with the idea of trying to compare Java and C++ using a pool of water as an analogy was an idiot. (My mind was probably still in half-asleep delirious mode- refer to previous post where I was awake and panicked about having 40,000 shopping carts) And then I went back to sleep.
2. I am escorting the Joker from Batman down several flights of stairs in Arkham Asylum to his prison cell. This is pretty much a recreation of the opening to the video game Batman: Arkham Asylum, except that
- I am myself and not Batman
- I am unarmed
- there are no police officers with me escorting the Joker
- the Joker himself isn't even handcuffed, which makes me wonder why he's even bothering with this charade in the first place.
- he's playing with a spoon in his hands as he is walking, and I spend most of the walk downstairs paranoid that he might stab me in the eye with it since I am defenseless.
- but somehow we manage to have a pretty cordial conversation anyway. no hard feelings.
Luckily, once we make it to the bottom floor the Joker gets ambushed by a crowd of teenage girls asking for his autograph. and I wake up.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
counting down
San Jose move up day: Sept 2nd. or 3rd.
I've been pretty sick and confined to home for the past week and a half now (bar for a brief visit up north to find the apartment... in which I got more sick. bah.) so not much else happening here.
Most of the things I want to write about don't feel like getting written once I finally get to a computer. Sigh.
I've been pretty sick and confined to home for the past week and a half now (bar for a brief visit up north to find the apartment... in which I got more sick. bah.) so not much else happening here.
Most of the things I want to write about don't feel like getting written once I finally get to a computer. Sigh.
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