Everything's a facade!

This was written a week ago but it felt oddly misplaced where it was so I decided to move it. Not to mention semi-emotional.

"I wish I felt more motivated to act the way I know I should act. To believe what I say I believe. I see the positive people around me - particularly Jason and Ryan, and the way they've been able to change other people just by their good nature and faith. They see the world in a positive light - perhaps you could say in a naive manner (I'd say Jason's one of the most "WHOOSH" people I've ever met in my life- but sometimes I really do wonder if he really does notice some things and prefers not to say anything about them - like about the kind of person I am... He'll probably have a better time being roommates with his church friends), but in such a way that people like me can't help but just love them for being who they are. But at the same time, I feel like I could never live up to those same standards - like it's in my nature to be critical of the way things are. And to worry about how close I am with other people. And to neglect my responsibilities by playing video games and reading high-minded books all day."

Oh oh and a revised to-do list (non-academic, that is):

Top:
Brothers Karamazov
The Longest Journey
Persona 3
Earthbound

Middle:
Hanaotoko
Grim Fandango
Planescape: Torment
Valkyrie Profile 2
Final Fantasy XII
Alice in Wonderland and probably Through the Looking Glass
Uh... one of the 40+ movies on my hard drive

Bottom:
Everything else

Waiting:
Usual manga stuff
Code Geass R2
Mother 3
Persona 2: Innocent Sin
Heaven's Feel

Back to vector calculus!