More thoughts.

- Had a number of dreams this week, but I can't remember any of them now save for the one a few days ago in which I saw a movie titled "Dreams and Guns." All I remember is waking up and thinking that it was a bizarre combination of Sailor Moon, Samuel L. Jackson, and Quentin Tarantino.

- I know I have a propensity for liking weird... things in general, but I have to say that Mawaru Penguindrum is probably the weirdest anime I have seen so far. At least, in the sense that I have no idea what is going on right now. The only thing I can predict about this series is the Survival Strategy sequence that plays every episode (similar to the repetitive stock footage you see in every episode of series like Sailor Moon/Digimon/Utena/etc.), but otherwise... gah I have no idea.

- When I look back over some of my old posts on this blog, it feels like a different person wrote them. As in, I have no idea what I was thinking or simply don't remember writing those posts.

- Google's cafeteria is amazing. Thanks Jade!

- It was a bit jarring the first day, but I'm starting to get used to living alone. It's kinda nice, I guess... I've never had this much free space in my life. (I've never had a private space or room to myself at home - I shared everything with brother).

I was asked before why I decided to live alone... well, I did kinda ask around a bit at first. But after a friend suggested considering living alone for once, I thought about it. And it started feeling like an attractive idea - not to mention that phase I went through a few months ago of getting sick of people.

I guess when it came down to it, I realized the thing I disliked the most about living with people was the constant possibility of inconveniencing or annoying them somehow- stereotypical, perhaps? This was in part influenced by seeing other friends getting annoyed at getting inconvenienced by the people they lived with. And I felt like if I were in the same circumstances I'd more likely be the annoying one since oftentimes I make the mistake of not fully considering how my actions affect other people. Particularly when it comes to living circumstances.

Another thing that influenced this was my own tendency to not take initiative in general apartment tasks like cooking, cleaning, etc. when I lived with other people. This was more due to my own inexperience - and I absolutely loathed getting complaints/comments from other people when I made basic mistakes because of inexperience or just not fully thinking through what I was doing, that I pretty much felt less inclined to do these things altogether. At least, not when other people were around.

I'm hoping that this year will be a time to force me to grow up for once, and rely less on others in taking initiative when it comes to my living circumstances. Ultimately, I'd like to become a better person to live with- although I realize that could easily go the other way around and make me prefer living just for myself. But in all honesty, in spite of the negative baggage it came with, I do miss living with people.

- It felt really weird being back at IV last night. I was reminded of that note I got at graduation- one that expressed regret over not getting to know each other better - which was how I felt in general on leaving back in May. I came in desiring good conversations and relationships with people, and left feeling lost in the rush of the flow, knowing a lot of people but not really "knowing" them well, and feeling disappointed considering how much time I'd invested in this community and how this probably would stay the same after college. Over the course of the night, all of those feelings came back... and of course, the usual post-large group rush never really helps- I barely had time to talk to most of the people I did see. But it was good to see them.

- Berkeley, I missed you. Although as far as driving around and trying to find parking goes, I hate you. I spent an hour trying to find a parking spot last night, and while driving down Shattuck a random passing driver called me an asshole. -___-