How easy it is for one negative thought to turn into a downpour of cynicism. All of a sudden, every little thing you see turns into a possible source of negativity, and those negative thoughts turn into anxieties that you can't get over. Things that could be taken as miscommunication turn into slights against you; slights against you turn into attacks on your character; attacks on your character turn into feelings of self pity and loathing and wondering why you couldn't be better, and any attempts to think positively otherwise just strike you as shallow and naive. All those little activities you took on to busy yourself and make do with time become meaningless, because you were just doing them to forget about everything that's wrong with your life, to get by.
And of course, you know that what you're thinking is wrong; you just can't see why that is because your mind is so clouded with all of this bullshit. You forget the lessons you thought you had already learned in the spur of the moment, and you end up doing something rash that you regret later or just repeat the same mistakes, the same motions you've been making over and over and over again.
You forget how much you've been blessed. How lucky you are to have what you have right now, to have someone you can talk to. How quickly you take such a common thing for granted... you realize after seeing what happens to a person who hasn't even that.
Just remember that you are beloved. And there's nothing shallow or naive about that.
amen to that
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