- Dreamed three nights ago that everyone from Choice died in a plane crash. Woke up feeling depressed. Don't remember the first dream from two nights ago but I remember waking up in the middle of the night and thinking it was about as bad as the night before. And then I fell asleep into another dream where my old piano teacher was chastising me for not being able to play two chords in succession even though I haven't seriously played in a decade. When I woke up, I realized that the sound she was expecting me to play wasn't a fifth interval below like she claimed.
(I only know that because I took a sight-singing class, not from piano.)
- Been randomly reminded lately I don't like standing out or being the center of attention- although this applies to more than social settings. I'm most comfortable when no one notices me [so I can freely
This kind of ties into my aversion at being seen doing everyday things or randomly running into people who recognize me, which is why I tend to act rather shady whenever I notice someone before they notice me. Honestly, half of the time when I see someone I know [that I wasn't expecting to see], my default instinct is to hide from their sight rather than greet them. No offense intended cause I do it to everyone at some point.
- Going by this blog it would probably seem like there is always something on my mind. Which is probably mostly true, except for those times where all I want to do is be distracted by something because I'm too tired to even passively ponder. Ironically, that's partly why I grew up enjoying turn-based RPG's. If you're not familiar with the genre it looks mostly boring to watch... compared to first person shooters or action games or say Starcraft. One of my friends tends to call most of the games I play generic which is more of a pronouncement on the genre itself because the games in question weren't really that generic to begin with - except for the Tales games, but those are well-made generic games that happen to still be pretty fun anyway.
But back on topic, I tried explaining to Harrison a few years ago [while playing what I think was Digital Devil Saga] that I tend to play these games when I don't feel like thinking and I don't think he really understood it well. Maybe it's for the journey and the illusionary sense of accomplishment and the number-crunching and the lack of stress...
- Loneliness is state of mind or reaction to being alone. I would feel less lonely in general if I didn't know what other people I knew were doing at this moment, and I suppose habitual Facebook usage is partly to blame for a lot of those times where I do start feeling down for no real significant reason. But when that's not occupying my attention, then I could hardly care less about being alone. I'm pretty accustomed to doing things on my own anyway, even though it's nice to do them with other people when the opportunity arises. "Introvert time" at coffee shops is becoming one of my favorite pastimes now. It helps that I actually drink lattes now.
- Living alone again for the first time in a year and a half. It feels surreal.
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