In the midst of an anti-people mood.... which is not to say that I hate people right now, but rather, I don't feel particularly inclined to talk to or see anyone right now and would rather just sit at home and read books all day.
Which is why I'm going swing dancing tonight for the first time in a year and heading to SF this weekend to see people. Sigh.* (*not an 'I don't want to' sigh, just more a sigh at my ongoing mood. I like people.)
It's like when you start to recognize patterns or extra voices in your thoughts contrary to... other present patterns or voices. One that speaks of the things that depress you, and another that speaks of how pumped and excited you are to do things, like you're reclaiming your life for the first time again.
It's also like the book I'm reading now, Ulysses. It's got an undertone of painful seriousness wrapped within a crazy nonsensical sense of humor that pokes fun at death and the oddities of the English language. And it's also incredibly difficult to make sense of at times... because stream of consciousness.
Waking up to the knowledge that nothing in your life is perfect, and the notion that it unlikely will be as idealistically great as you want it to be. So make of it what good you are able to while you still can.
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