A history of poking

So some of you are probably aware that I have a bit of a phobia when it comes to being poked. I'm really sensitive in my side area, so nowadays any motion that people make towards me that even remotely resembles a poke there is enough to put me on edge or in defensive mode. A lot of this has largely stemmed from a history of being poked since middle school... some of which was in jest, and some of which I still feel bitter about sometimes.

Exhibits:

A. In fifth grade, people in my class used to make fun of me for using the word basically, because apparently that's not a word fifth graders normally used and it made me sound nerdy or something. One of my classmates took made a point of this during PE by yelling "BA-SIC-LY" while poking me in the side with each syllable. And I was a bit miffed because I'd helped this person in class before, and it hurt a lot.

B. In seventh grade, during math class and either history or geography or some sort, both of which were held in the same room, both of the people sitting behind me in class would get bored and decide to poke me in the back with a pen. If you've never been poked in the back with a pen before, it stings a lot more than a finger poke does. 

In a fit of anger I used to retaliate against the second person, a girl, by whacking her in the head with a planner, and for some weird reason that would just make her laugh. The more times I whacked her in the head, the more she kept on laughing... and she just wouldn't stop. -__- I never understood her.

C. Also in seventh grade, during lunchtime my friends and I had wars that pretty much reduced to me and my lunchpail vs. an army of pokers (at this point it was more in jest than really hurting me persay). It was like freeze tag except tags were pokes in the side, I was the only person who could get "tagged," and I could fight back by whacking attackers with my lunch pail. 

One person managed to successfully catch me off guard with a poke so sudden that it caused me to collapse and lie down on the ground for several minutes. Probably the "best" poke I ever got, although it worried everyone else haha. I also broke the tupperware inside my lunchpail once after whacking an attacker with it.

D. In eighth grade, one of my friends pulled off an arbitrary poke into my side, and I instinctively swung my arm backwards at him and my fist made contact with the inside of his mouth. He wasn't hurt, but ugh, saliva.

E. Sophomore year of high school Spanish, the girl sitting behind me decided to poke me in the back with a pen cause she was bored. Ironically this girl had no knowledge of my history of pokes, but I didn't retaliate because this was high school and I didn't feel like getting in trouble (also I have no idea how we got away with the things we did during middle school). But ugh, she was incredibly annoying, and I'd forgotten how much more painful pen pokes were.

F. In college, my apartment-mates got wind of my poking weakness and I distinctly recall one incident that resulted in me grabbing a trash bin filled with firewood (...I don't think it was the axe) and marching towards his suddenly locked room. But nothing came of it luckily.

G. A few of my church friends today like to greet me by poking me, although one time I was holding a cup of hot tea that I almost reflexively splashed on him. I don't get poked as much anymore, but sometimes... Bush...

And that is my history of poking. I'm not generally a violent person, but this is one area that has been able to rile me up in the past and I would caution anyone considering approaching me in this fashion to tread lightly.