Thoughts

Staring at screens.

Feeling unsatisfied with the way things are.

Wishing for deeper relationships with people, but feeling as though I have nothing to contribute to such relationships.

Looking at people and thinking, "I have nothing to say to you right now. And I wish I did."

I wish I had more things to say sometimes. Not to say that I wish I were talking all the time, but I spend a significant amount of my time around other people being quiet, because I can't think of anything to say. And a lot of the things I do end up thinking about are better left unsaid sometimes.

It makes me wonder if I should be writing these down more often, since most of the time I'll forget what exactly I was thinking about come 5 minutes from now. A good number of my conversations involve me asking the other person what we were talking about 5 minutes ago anyway.

I anticipate the coming years to possibly be the loneliest times of my life. And I am scared to think of it.

The Indonesian noodles sitting next to me smell really good right now. I can't wait to eat them tomorrow.