I have issues with people who like to collectively label certain music as "indie crap."

Well, I'll admit that there bands out there such that if I had to create a genre called "indie crap," I would lump them in that (considering how much indie I apparently I do listen to). I do sometimes get the sense of dull repetition and "whininess" when I hear those bands. But to characterize every indie band out there as a load of bull owing simply to the fact that their name isn't mainstream is another thing altogether.

Especially if you diss Yo La Tengo. ESPECIALLY From a Motel 6 Yo La Tengo. That song is anything but typical indie crap.

Of course, what makes music enjoyable to a person is largely subjective based on that person's tastes, but I do believe in the existence of objectively "good" and "bad" quality music like others do. However, I also tend to disagree with the way some of these people identify music as "good" or "bad."

Good quality music is more than just lyrics, a chorus, melodies, etc. By that measure, you could also analyze a song for its lyrical or melodic complexity and interactions, or the musician/singer's prowess and execution at carrying the song through, but that's not entirely the kind of good or bad scale that I'm getting at right away, considering that there are songs out there that can still come across well without being that "complex;" how enjoyable a song is also plays a major factor into this scale. A lot of mainstream music is like that: it's fun to listen to because it's simple or conventional, catchy, pleasing to the ear, or inspires a feeling in you. That's why I don't really mind it when other people play their music, or at least usually; I can see why they like it. I might like it myself.

And then of course there's other, obscure music that's... not so pleasing to the ear. (Noise rock! Screamo! etc. etc.) Or, so to speak, others that would come across as unconventional to your average listener. This doesn't make them bad by any means; they might just be innovating a certain aspect of their music in a way to achieve a different result. And sometimes it just takes a shift in perspective to realize what exactly this result means; I've had times when I've listened to a song once and disliked it, only to randomly hear it again (or a couple more times for that matter) and suddenly have something click in my mind, and all of a sudden it seems like God's next best gift to mankind (seriously). Repeated over time, this builds up to the point where music taste changes or expands as one comes to experience a wider variety of tastes; it's how I've managed to move on to liking groups in genres such as hip hop (well, knowing the kind of person I am) and some avant garde bands that I guess some would call "noise."

It may seem unfathomable how a song with a lack of a "catchy" tune or other conventional musical elements could ever be "good" music, but trust me, it's possible. Mainly because it's here that the subjective factor comes in: what kind of music a person is likely to enjoy is largely dependent on how susceptible they are to this "realization" or change, or to put in better terms, how open they are to new experiences. And I say, the more open a person is in his or her music taste, the more likely they are to be able to recognize the other factors in unconventional music that still makes it enjoyable.

Of course, this doesn't mean that they have to like every single random song that is thrown at them. It just means that they are more likely to be able to recognize good quality songs regardless of how obscure those songs are... songs that can still inspire something in a person without needing to rely on trite techniques or cheap conventionalities like a lot of the so called "bad music" out there. (which is why they call bad music "soulless.") And quite honestly, I find unconventional "inspiring" music more impressive than conventional ones because it usually takes extra skill to pull that off; hence the contribution of factors such as what I refer to as musical or lyrical "complexity." Good lo-fi music isn't good simply because it's lo-fi; it's good because of what else it does to inspire its listeners without turning them off by its low audio quality. And conversely, it takes an open listener to get around the fact that the music is atypical and realize its true capability; an ignorant person would simply walk away assume the worst from a cursory glance (or listen). This leads to what I call music mislabeling. Of course, these people fail to understand why other people can enjoy the same music; some of them even like to rant about it.

Then again, some people can try to listen a thousand times to a song and never like it once regardless of how open they try to be. That's where REAL personal taste comes in. I have no problem with that. And others by nature just aren't that open in general; maybe they just like feeling comfortable with what they have. I'm fine with that too. It's when people in either category go a step further and try to make overbearing generalizations about the music they don't understand (hence, "all this pretentious indie crap; music nowadays is soulless") that I have issues. Or even worse, they make these generalizations about the people who like them. Yes, I have listened to Joanna Newsom's Is; more than 10 times, in fact (considering how long each song is). Yes, I actually do like her (her songs are calming to me; they're like beautiful majestic lullabies) and I don't mind her singing voice. Got a problem with that?

Typically, I only find music totally unlistenable when it either:

a: literally tries to scratch your eardrums out. for good medical reasons.
b: is overplayed too many times that I get sick of it.
c: comes across as overdone or repetitive, pointless, or "soulless" - true bad music

I think most people would tend to follow the same or similar rules for themselves. That last point is the real matter of contention in this case, but I believe that how much that changes depends on how willing a person is to listen to music objectively. They should look at the reasons why other people do like it first and try not to let the exotic nature of the music or their initial impressions affect their overall absolute judgment. Then they might have a better understanding of how it is possible to have good music out of so called "pretentious indie crap;" or otherwise recognize what really is good and bad music.

And don't even bring recognition into this debate. A lack of interest is okay, but bashing on a whole genre of music just because you've never heard more than half of its artists before is just being ignorant AND offensive to other people.

Indie rock is soulless? Give me a fucking break.

---

And on a better note, Euphoria - Oneday (album mix) is pretty awesome.

Ryan Plays Too Many Games

Sooo recently I've gotten in the mood for playing games that I really don't have time for.

*insert compulsory list*

GRIM FANDANGO (Day of the Dead + Noir + LucasArts = Brilliance.)
Planescape: Torment
Freespace
Sam and Max Hit the Road
Fire Emblem: Sword of Seals
Front Mission DS
Professor Layton and the Mysterious Village

And books.

The Brothers Karamazov (Nathan doesn't know what a lecher is. Mech-e.)
The Picture of Dorian Gray
Mrs. Dalloway
The Waves
Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass
The Satanic Verses
East of Eden
Absalom! Absalom!
- Among others.

and of course, musakk.

- too many to list.

and schedule planning.

-... I'm not even going there.

Eh, I'm full of myself sometimes.

I have The Magnetic Fields - When My Boy Walks Down the Street stuck in my head right now. And I feel too lazy to do work. Screw Physics and Ochem.

I feel like a recluse sometimes. asdffg.

To be honest, though, I never really wanted to believe what I said last night. One circumstance just led to another, leading it in that direction... But I can still see some of the things that I do want to believe in sometimes.

Well, if people feel like talking, I'm still always available. And if not... then that's okay too.

I'll just leave it at that.

I've been disappointed by people. Plenty of times. Though it's not something you really talk about.

Of course, up until last year I tended to blame it all on myself. Nowadays I just figure it's because everyone sucks.

But you won't be hearing that from me aloud anytime soon.

God damn I'm so jaded it's not even funny.

I like the way Mike (Sudolsky) uses ellipses.

When other people use them though... bleh. Maybe because I envision their personalities on paper differently.

Persona.

I'm lingering somewhere along the line between obsession and indifference right now. And I honestly can't tell the difference between the two right now. It's all the same thing... one big mess of nothing. Laziness.

Time means nothing to me.

Tick tock. It's the sound of the reaper. Melancholy!

I have this tendency to involuntarily experience seizure-like conditions whenever I truly feel excited about something... Regardless of how I want to react. It's happened to me while playing Smash, Halo, Starcraft, Warcraft, and one time while watching that one scene in Stephen King's Carrie where the title character goes berserk and murders everyone at her high school prom using her psychic powers after getting public humiliated by a cruel prank that also happens to accidentally kill her prom date. Particularly the part where the teacher gets crushed in the abdomen by a falling board.

Did I mention that for a while I actually liked watching Happy Tree Friends? I think I've seen almost 2/3rds of the shorts on that site...

I don't know who I am. Don't ask. But I will say this much.

My life is ruled by uncertainties and whims.

I should probably be more active when I'm around my friends. You know, talk more... while being sensible about it. I have this tendency to play the observer when I'm in a group of three or more because I don't really know or have anything to say. Not worth their time, anyway.

That and I don't give a shit about what I think anymore.

Sometimes I like to wander about aimlessly in public places. Starbucks, Barnes and Noble, Bella Terra, UC Irvine, Central Library, Seacliff Center, HBHS, the 405... I've been there. It passes the time.

I should be grateful for a lot of things. But I don't really show it enough. Not to mention, I worry about a bunch of meaningless things and let jocular insults get to me. I have an overinflated sense of pride when it comes to academics and intellectual things, and... well, I get easily offended if you comment about anything else that applies to my daily life. But I should quit that.

I'm also a hypocrite. Or maybe an immature version of Ivan Fyodorovich Karamazov.

I love you Lord
and I lift my voice
to worship you
oh my soul rejoice
take joy my king
in what you hear
let it be a sweet, sweet sound
in your ear.

My resolution this year is not to be swayed by what other people think. Formulate my own opinions... and stick with them.

This is who I am. This is what I like. This is what I believe.

My name is Ryan SUWAHZA. Now get it right this time.

You expect too much out of life.

---

so so so I feel like taking a walk but it's kinda late and rainy and I'd probably catch a cold or something if I went out in this weather even with my thick jackets although I don't necessarily subscribe to the belief that mere coldness makes you catch colds. it just makes you more susceptible to the virus when it comes by you, partly since the virus survives better at cold temperatures. but that's not the point.

wasting time cause I want to do something or so I think cause maybe it's not worth it to do anything worthwhile or meaningful aside from sitting down and staring at the tv screen cause that's what i do best. listening to asobi seksu or stars. set yourself on fire. do you trust your friends?

river run. well. like blue thunder. on fire. galaxie 500. koo koo koo.

casey jr's coming down the track so don't look back
conceived and trite like that apple bum named johnny
killer flying monkeys threaten me when i sleep
i'm too afraid to dream
of that ominous teacup in the sky
nefi and girly
alice in wonderland
never trust weasels because they could backstab you when you least expect it
stupid weasels
penguins make loud noises
and elephants will kill you.

music cannot be described in words. words don't mean anything. I can describe heightened sensations or moods, but not to the extent that anyone would understand them. Because I'm not willing to admit anything to myself. You who sits there in the looking glass, formless and aimless, tell me who I am and what I want to be. I don't really want to know myself in my own ways anymore.

boredom killed the cat more than curiosity did. the cat was just too stupid to realize it.

sometimes I really do feel like going off somewhere to be alone by myself, but I don't feel safe anywhere. acrophobia or agoraphobia? wide open spaces. not fitting. there could be someone hiding.

who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who

autopilot. bad winds. zelda and the pixies. killjoy and strangelove. dr seuss. fiddle dum and fight the deeds of decay and destruction empty. I lack the mental prowess, dedication, or skill to push myself beyond this peak. I hate Prometheus. I don't want to know more to that depth anymore. It's not fitting. It's not appealing. Reading does me no justice.

elephante fante fanta calamity indignation phantasia cless cleft ness left the store at dawn to go to his apartment and meet a celebrity at dawn by the trophy stick made by calvin at the mansion of holes and purple tentacles cause green was too cowardly to do anything stupid green blue deserves better even though he doesn't exist rawr rar roar woar whore canklestick cafe 3. I'm not doing anything meaningful and I don't feel like it. we don't want to sleep tonight like young white lovers cross the light
beyond those depths

staring. not at mirrors. at you and me. what do you see.

no motivation or feeling whatsoever.

GAGRAGDRAGFAGTAGSAGKAGKEGDREG

I'm gonna play texttwist now.