Every time I watch another episode of Breaking Bad, I just want to smack Walter White in the face. and rip my hair out. and throw my computer against the wall.
It's not just the fact that he's becoming more morally bankrupt each episode. It's that it's his pride fueling it each step of the way. Pride so ugly... and human, it's disgusting.
I feel like I'm watching this show just to see this guy get what's coming to him. Much like I still read Naruto because I want to see Sasuke dead already (although even if he did die, it'd probably turn into some self-glorified death considering how it's been so far). Only Breaking Bad comes bundled with the depressing aftereffects of Walt's stupidity on every character in the show.
Great show, but just really aggravating to watch sometimes.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Dream Post #40
1. IV is putting on a classical music concert at some fancy theater, during which For Christ's Sake a capella is center-stage performing a solemn yet annoyingly repetitive and catchy requiem, and I am sitting in the audience next to a clearly disgruntled male Korean atheist (I have no idea why it is that specific, but it is). I can't help but notice the anger emanating from the guy's face, and it bothers me so much that I'm caught off-guard when the spotlight suddenly falls on me, as it is my turn to narrate the next sequence of the God story. I can't remember my lines even though the script is sitting right in front of me, and no matter what I try to read from the script, it all comes out from my mouth as gibberish. I am lost, and I do not understand what I am trying to say. and then I wake up.
2. The Internet dies, which somehow triggers an I am Legend-ish sort of phenomenon where I am now the last human on earth in the midst of a post-apocalyptic landscape. After a month of wandering past dead computer and tv screens, one suddenly turns on, revealing that the source of the Internet's death was a bomb that exploded in a Costco in New York City, and that I am still able to get signal because Costco is still alive in Los Angeles. Just then that Costco explodes from another bomb, and the signal dies. and I wake up.
2. The Internet dies, which somehow triggers an I am Legend-ish sort of phenomenon where I am now the last human on earth in the midst of a post-apocalyptic landscape. After a month of wandering past dead computer and tv screens, one suddenly turns on, revealing that the source of the Internet's death was a bomb that exploded in a Costco in New York City, and that I am still able to get signal because Costco is still alive in Los Angeles. Just then that Costco explodes from another bomb, and the signal dies. and I wake up.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
IM
For a while now I've had this tendency to feel self-conscious about instant messaging. Every time a friend's nearby with a laptop or computer screen on, I can't help but notice how many gchat (or aim back in the day, or webex in the case of work) conversations they usually have ongoing at one time. I mean, I've had moments where I've had several chats going on at once myself, but it's only once in a while. And it makes me wonder why I'm not talking to people as much as the person in front of me.
Some people have asked me in the past why I hardly talk to them [online], generally people who I talked to more often than most to begin with. I dunno. Is it a symptom of something?
Back in the day [read: middle school] when I started using MSN and later AIM, I always had this weird complex about never wanting to IM people because I didn't want to bother them or something like that. In retrospect it shouldn't have been that big a deal, especially considering the kind of things middle schoolers would've talked about anyway... but I don't know how well I got over that. I don't think of it as much, but I still feel irked whenever people don't really respond, even though I do that a lot myself now anyways. It also bothers me when attempts at conversations just end after a few lines. (I'm probably reading too much into it.)
I guess in general, I don't feel like initiating conversations most of the time unless I actually have something to say. Which sucks when I want to talk to someone but don't really have anything to say, so I either end up not initiating or just sitting there if the person happens to be there.
I apologize if you've had to experience the awkwardness of me just sitting there. According to a friend it's cause I like to soak in the presence of other people. "Like a sponge."
Some people have asked me in the past why I hardly talk to them [online], generally people who I talked to more often than most to begin with. I dunno. Is it a symptom of something?
Back in the day [read: middle school] when I started using MSN and later AIM, I always had this weird complex about never wanting to IM people because I didn't want to bother them or something like that. In retrospect it shouldn't have been that big a deal, especially considering the kind of things middle schoolers would've talked about anyway... but I don't know how well I got over that. I don't think of it as much, but I still feel irked whenever people don't really respond, even though I do that a lot myself now anyways. It also bothers me when attempts at conversations just end after a few lines. (I'm probably reading too much into it.)
I guess in general, I don't feel like initiating conversations most of the time unless I actually have something to say. Which sucks when I want to talk to someone but don't really have anything to say, so I either end up not initiating or just sitting there if the person happens to be there.
I apologize if you've had to experience the awkwardness of me just sitting there. According to a friend it's cause I like to soak in the presence of other people. "Like a sponge."
Monday, January 23, 2012
Those moments of frustration when you have people you want to see, but for whatever the reason (distance/time/conflicting schedules/inconvenience/lack of responsiveness when you try to initiate/you've grown distant from each other/you don't really know each other that well and they're not the type of person who would want to go out of their way to meet up with someone they don't really know/they don't necessarily want to see you and you don't even know why you want to see them in the first place) you can't. This doesn't bother me all the time, but there have been random moments in the past few months where one stray thought of this sort has come up at night, and I consequently find myself unable to sleep for a few hours. And of course I wake up the next morning wondering what the hell I was thinking.
And for those you do get to see, the feeling of "That's it?" that comes afterwards, because things aren't the same as they were before, and the subjects you wanted to talk about are still left unsaid, and you probably won't talk again for a long time anyway.
Sometimes I feel like I've traded the closeness I felt in college for an abundance of regular friendships and acquaintances with other people I hadn't expected to see. Which is to say that I'm thankful for what I have now, but the feeling of unrest from what's missing is still there. It's hard to find a replacement for late night conversations and man-councils nowadays.
And for those you do get to see, the feeling of "That's it?" that comes afterwards, because things aren't the same as they were before, and the subjects you wanted to talk about are still left unsaid, and you probably won't talk again for a long time anyway.
Sometimes I feel like I've traded the closeness I felt in college for an abundance of regular friendships and acquaintances with other people I hadn't expected to see. Which is to say that I'm thankful for what I have now, but the feeling of unrest from what's missing is still there. It's hard to find a replacement for late night conversations and man-councils nowadays.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Musings
- I have this tendency to internal monologue at random moments throughout the day. It tends to break off into incomplete thoughts because I have a rather short attention span, and sometimes includes a mix of either replays of particular conversations I've had in the past (more like sound bites; my memory isn't THAT good), or hypothetical conversations that may or may not happen in the future. And by hypothetical, I mean realistically and in-character hypothetical- Ryan L., on the other hand, tends to subvert this in front of me by coming up with stupidly ridiculous and exaggerated hypothetical conversations that aggravate me like no other.
- Having recently rediscovered Evernote (I couldn't figure out what to use it for the first time around), I feel suddenly compelled to make random notes for just about anything. Considering my tendency to make random textfile notes on whatever computer I'm using, I guess it's natural to move them to the cloud. Now I can access my to-do lists from anywhere! (shut up, Ryan.)
- Going on the organizational trend, I have this sort of somewhat logical system set up for online stuff. This blog for mostly text posts, tumblr for random pics/videos I find, google+ for random articles I find, facebook for social stuff (and stalking Nathan apparently, although it's mainly cause he posts so many articles.), and then google reader for articles/rss feeds/blogs which are then sorted into read it later which are then preserved in evernote if deemed worthy enough. And then reddit's always just there.
And as far as lists go- goodreads/myanimelist/icheckmovies/the backloggery/evernote for the rest. phew.
- I should stop obsessing so much over lists. I have this unhealthy habit in particular of making lists of things that I don't quite never get to, as I've discovered over the course of four years that a list I made back in high school is now 70-80% complete.
- I've never really liked instant messaging all that much (outside of for work purposes - otherwise I've grown close to hating it at times), but I tend to be online all the time anyway.
- One of the things I disliked the most about living with people was the prospect of being judged for my lifestyle choices/habits. Things that wouldn't bother me but would bother someone else with more sensitivity; being made light of the things I preoccupy myself with; dealing with the accusation of not eating (I ate a lot of meals when no one was watching >_>).
- That said, I think the main reason I prefer living with people is to make up for my general inclination towards being anti-social in most settings. For whatever the reason I seem to take a long time to actually befriend most people (in a way beyond acquaintances). It feels a lot more difficult when I see other people who, when placed in similar circumstances as me, grow close a lot faster. Honestly, if it weren't for the proximity that the dorms and apartment life brought, I'd probably be a total recluse right now.
In some respects I feel like one even now - in spite of going out a bit during the week, I feel a general lack in actual close relationships out of the ones I have so far here. But I'm still trying, sorta.
- I've grown pretty accustomed to living alone now, but I'm looking forward to having an apartment-mate again.
- Having recently rediscovered Evernote (I couldn't figure out what to use it for the first time around), I feel suddenly compelled to make random notes for just about anything. Considering my tendency to make random textfile notes on whatever computer I'm using, I guess it's natural to move them to the cloud. Now I can access my to-do lists from anywhere! (shut up, Ryan.)
- Going on the organizational trend, I have this sort of somewhat logical system set up for online stuff. This blog for mostly text posts, tumblr for random pics/videos I find, google+ for random articles I find, facebook for social stuff (and stalking Nathan apparently, although it's mainly cause he posts so many articles.), and then google reader for articles/rss feeds/blogs which are then sorted into read it later which are then preserved in evernote if deemed worthy enough. And then reddit's always just there.
And as far as lists go- goodreads/myanimelist/icheckmovies/the backloggery/evernote for the rest. phew.
- I should stop obsessing so much over lists. I have this unhealthy habit in particular of making lists of things that I don't quite never get to, as I've discovered over the course of four years that a list I made back in high school is now 70-80% complete.
- I've never really liked instant messaging all that much (outside of for work purposes - otherwise I've grown close to hating it at times), but I tend to be online all the time anyway.
- One of the things I disliked the most about living with people was the prospect of being judged for my lifestyle choices/habits. Things that wouldn't bother me but would bother someone else with more sensitivity; being made light of the things I preoccupy myself with; dealing with the accusation of not eating (I ate a lot of meals when no one was watching >_>).
- That said, I think the main reason I prefer living with people is to make up for my general inclination towards being anti-social in most settings. For whatever the reason I seem to take a long time to actually befriend most people (in a way beyond acquaintances). It feels a lot more difficult when I see other people who, when placed in similar circumstances as me, grow close a lot faster. Honestly, if it weren't for the proximity that the dorms and apartment life brought, I'd probably be a total recluse right now.
In some respects I feel like one even now - in spite of going out a bit during the week, I feel a general lack in actual close relationships out of the ones I have so far here. But I'm still trying, sorta.
- I've grown pretty accustomed to living alone now, but I'm looking forward to having an apartment-mate again.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)