So today I was in GBC heading towards the sandwich line when this elderly(sorta) man comes up to me and asks if he could have a hamburger (I presume that he might be homeless or otherwise just hungry). So I told him that yes, he could have a hamburger, which I guess confused him for a sec because I didn't actually say that I was going to swipe his food for him. But that's what I meant to say.

Aaanyway, a few minutes later, he's waiting in line for his burger and I'm about to walk off to get some chips before coming back for him when I run into Katrina. We talk about Bio 1Al stuff and whatnot, and then I look around and notice that the guy's disappeared. Or rather, first he's at the condiments section past the registers- which I find weird because I haven't swiped his food yet- and then after I talk to Katrina a little longer, he's gone. I was a little worried at this point, so I went outside and looked for a bit and saw him sitting by himself at one of the benches, but I don't see any sign of the food he was going to get... and I just walk off towards the library.

Maybe I should've come up to him and asked why he didn't get the food he meant to get in the first place? I noticed that he was talking to the girl standing at the grill for a while, so I dunno if she just refused to give him food knowing that he was going to swiped or something like that... And to be honest, I was feeling a little aversive myself. Like I should've told him that I was going to get chips and come back for him, but I just walked in the direction of the chips instead which could've looked like me trying to walk away from him... I dunno. Weird stuff happens.

Also, I sort of ran into someone outisde of Moffitt, who I noticed had removed me from his friends on Facebook earlier this weekend. (or maybe he'd done it a long while ago, I wasn't paying attention anyway). I meant to say hi to him (to be honest I don't know why he removed me; we never really talked much to begin with, but he's still friends with other people who are in the same position as me?), but he kinda turned his head like he just saw something in the distance. Was he trying to ignore me or did he actually see something?... well, I just walked on like I didn't see him. I dunno.

Maybe I've come across like I've tried to avoid him in the past? but it wasn't really like I disliked him or anything, it was more subconscious aversion on my part at times because I'd heard bad stories about him from his roommate, who I still talk to. And sometimes I walk by like I didn't notice him cause it seemed like he didn't notice me either... But I do respect his opinions though- I've read his blog and the notes/comments he's written on facebook in the past, and I have to say they're pretty interesting to read.

OH, and also, when I was walking to class today, I recognized someone walking in front of me who I'd talked to occassionally, only I didn't really feel like talking to him cause he's kind of an awkward person and just continued walking slightly behind him, hoping he wouldn't notice (we were both walking in the same direction). And we wound up splitting paths as soon as I hit Wheeler.

I feel like in these circumstances, I tend to start acting flaky - I have this tendency to prefer avoiding contact with people I may not necessarily feel comfortable talking to, for one reason or another. And I don't really like the way I act. It's like I'm judging them because of the awkward circumstances I associate with them, even though I know there's positive things about them also. It's like I'm saying, oh, I can't be bothered to spend time with you because I don't really know you or want to know you that well- because there might be certain things that I picked up from your appearance or your mannerisms the previous times we talked, or from things that other people have said about you, that I don't feel comfortable with or like. It's in those moments that I start judging people for their cover and not for what they really are- humans like me.

I suppose because of this, I don't have much of a right to get mad went people start to get flaky with me- I've been plenty flaky like this in the past. And the problem is, I don't really know if I want to change either- it would take a certain amount of willpower on my part to get out of my comfort zone and talk to these people. But I feel like in some ways, I really should change this about myself. People deserve more credit than I give them credit for sometimes. And it sucks when I start to overlook that, and then I realize later that oh, this person's actually pretty decent- and I just snubbed them in the past for petty reasons. I hate being fickle sometimes.