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In recent weeks I've been becoming more aware of my preoccupation with my own self-image. Especially in the context of relationships outside of home. I always put on this air of being interested but too busy to do things or just otherwise someone who doesn't often find himself in embarrassing situations... and it becomes a bit of an obsession sometimes. I don't like being embarrassed in front of people I don't know as well. It might well be the reason why I don't always feel as open when I'm at IV, unless I'm around someone like Ryan who kinda drags certain irritating feelings out of me.

(okay, not that I reeeeally get mad at him, but you know...)

But yeah, I guess I've been meaning to be more open about myself lately... although I keep finding it difficult in a lot of ways. I feel less inclined to try when I'm in the middle of a down period. Especially lately. I just want to sit here and listen to atmospheric songs on repeat.

Oh, life.