I am not the person I thought I was.

I was forced into this mold, this shape
because evidently my free thoughts weren't worth anything.

I've been finding these thoughts popping up again and again recently... It's a bit annoying. I don't know if it's the meaning of these thoughts that's more annoying, or the face that I am thinking them to begin with... but regardless, something's bugging me. Okay, so something's always bugging me. Character flaws bug me. The fact that I judge people subconsciously bugs me. etc. etc. But even though I think that there's some kind of solution, whenever I get down to actually trying to work out one, it never really is that simple. You can't resolve a conflict between two people by forcing your own opinions on them. Which is annoying because sometimes it seems like if these people would only perceive the situation the way that you saw it, they would realize how stupid the issue they're bickering over actually is. But that doesn't invalidate the feelings that they experience. I thought that I shouldn't have reacted so badly to my midterm score, but I still did anyway. And I realize now that regardless of how stupid I thought I was acting... my own feelings still meant something. My concerns still mattered.

That realization in itself was necessary for me to get over my sadness, my foul mood for the past month. I needed to come to terms with my own needs and my own flaws first in order to be able to deal with them... it's just another one of those random life lessons, I guess. Not that I like it by any means.

So I kinda just took a random topic and somehow directed it back at me, but point being... I guess I should learn to respect other people's opinions more. I have issues with the way some people perceive things the way that they do... But that's just the way life is. They have a right to their feelings given their circumstances. And so on.

I'm feeling on the verge of a sickness right now, which is going to ruin the rest of this week for me, but whatever. I need to take better care of my body anyway. Lesson learned x 300.