Thanks Ryan. Will do. :]

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So for about half a day today the internet refused to accept my laptop, and then my laptop refused to recognize its charger, which with my now 2-3 minute long battery meant that I was laptop-less for half a day.

And then afterwards I tried playing games and reading (finished Sound and the Fury! gosh that was a good book) and didn't get that far before I started feeling either tired or bored. Tired because doing anything while lying in bed makes me want to fall asleep even when I'm not tired, which would lead to headaches from oversleeping, and bored because... yeah. I don't know. I feel like since I'm in a foreign country, I should be out doing things... but when I'm out doing things here, it's always family errands. Like grocery shopping.

I figure next time I go out, I won't bring my book (since I'm now done with it anyways) and just try to make what I can, but last time I wound up just staring into the distance thinking to myself. I haven't really been talking to God much or doing anything productive with my thoughts, just subconscious things. I'm not really aware of what I've thought about after a while, so I guess by my terms that would count as unproductive (I like to see results). Well, I've had some interesting conversations at least, but they're not the sort that I can keep up with consistently for a couple of weeks.

I suppose if I were doing something more meaningful like volunteering or whatever, it wouldn't be as much of a problem. My aunt actually suggested some place interesting but my dad shot it down because the location was too hot. I feel like this country is hot enough as it is. -_-

I realize in a lot of ways I've been spoiled by having a laptop available all the time or some other immediate form of entertainment that I have trouble appreciating the littler things in life that my parents had to go off of when they were my age. My dad gets by with just his conversations with his family/friends and eating out and the errands we do (which I can't partake so much in cause of the language barrier), and otherwise he spends a lot of time lying in bed- he can't do much else cause of his vision problems. But he still gets by somehow, I guess. With the ways things have been going, I guess this trip has been forcing me to reassess how I value the things I have in life. I've been so accustomed to being next to a computer for so long that I can't bring myself to appreciate the kinds of things that my dad does.

I also realize that I don't have... major conversations much? with my family. I'm a lot more quiet with them than I am with my friends. I feel like I don't have much I want to say, persay- or that it wouldn't be appropriate cause of the generation gap. And my family's views are sort of eschewed in a particular direction that is not really how I feel- at least with the way how things ought to be run and such, but I guess that's natural for most people. I'll try to talk more, but I feel like there's this already existing sense that I'm not expected to say much because I haven't in the past... and that goes along with my pride now, see 21423r54423u59 previous posts in this blog.

Another thing, the brief moment I got back into scheduling made me reeeeally want to take Japanese again... but I'd have to give up bio for that. But I feel like I shouldn't stop bio now that I've started. Maybe I'll just try to teach myself on my own time, because I don't need to become extremely proficient or anything like that; just well enough to get by. Which other people do manage. I might consider just taking it for a year senior year if I can fit it in with my revised schedule. That should give me enough of a foundation to see whether or not I would want to continue somehow afterwards.

But all this thinking about it made me consider, why don't I necessarily find Indonesia as interesting as Japan? I feel like Japan is shrouded in this aura of being ideal or whatnot, perhaps because I like so many of the things that it produces, but at the same time, I don't really know it that well. So I mean, what if I do learn more about it and find that I don't like it as much? What is it that I find so interesting about one country over another? I could ask the same about why I'm not that into Spain either. France, Russia, and Britain have tended to stick out to me. But not Spain. and I took Spanish with a teacher that was from Spain. Nicest woman I ever met... but not that great of a teacher.

That, and I kinda find the prospect of learning the Japanese-language more... interesting? Spanish just feels too similar to English in some ways, like I'm just changing some things word for word and reversing order a couple of other things. The syntax and grammar of Japanese sentence are a totally different beast from those of the Western languages, plus the need to learn hiragana + katakana + kanji... it's more of a challenge, which appeals to my academic masochist nature. I feel like if I really want to know how it feels to think naturally in two different languages, this would be one of the more extreme cases for me.

Of course, I'd want to expand on Indonesian afterwards. But that wouldn't be so hard to self teach either, even my relatives here admitted that much. Indonesian isn't that hard to grasp; they don't really have a concept of past or future, so everything is conveyed in present tense, which tends to simplify things a bit. And I'm familiar with the language enough to grasp basic things. Hm.

Things to think about. I kinda wish it were timed differently, but I'll have to accept it, I guess. Just let me know what you're thinking of, God.

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I don't know if this is a testament to either my obsessiveness or my boredom or both, but I am now attempting to play through the untranslated Miles Edgeworth game... with a walkthrough just for the heck of it. Why am I such a sucker for spoilers. -_-

(But in all honesty, this game seems to beat Apollo Justice out of the water. Although I still liked Apollo Justice for what it's worth. Maybe it's just the value of the returner characters [although Phoenix only shows up as a background cameo... same with Lotta Hart :/] and the awesome case 4 villain-)

So yeah, FF4 has been put on hiatus for this + my sudden mood to replay Phoenix Wright again.

Ryan, I AM SHOVING THIS SERIES DOWN YOUR THROAT next time we meet, okay? ^_^

...

Yup, I'm ridiculous.